GENERAL COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any indirect or direct reference to Xena, Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction.
This is a small vignette I've written while trying to break the immense writer's block I've had with my Sins series. I hope you enjoy it and remember...all comments, suggestions, and flames are welcome (though flames will be dealt with accordingly *evilgrin*).
Once, I thought that my life was held on a single path, one born of blood and vengeance. I did not fight that path, I embraced it. It is what I desired above all else. I didn't care about anything, except the next kill. Well, not always. A good romp with whoever was the meat of the day was always a nice change of pace. Borias happened to be one of the lucky ones. His piece of meat lasted many seasons longer than the rest. Though, inevitably, I always grew bored and went back to the slaughter. It truly was just that; carnage in its absolute glory. None could stand up to my sword, even when I was a cripple. None could stand up to my dark side, especially when it was all consuming. Except a woman.
It was a woman who first showed me what I could be. Who revealed a piece of me which I had buried so deep even I was oblivious to it. She bathed me in her truth and combed away the stench of destruction that hung on me like a shroud. Wrapping me within her love she clothed me in forgiveness and acceptance. The path she showed me shone so brightly I was nearly blinded by its intensity. Yet, despite her best efforts, I could not walk it. Ultimately I failed her. Despite her best efforts to show me otherwise I refused to see what was already within me. A soul desperate for rebirth.
It was a woman who showed me what I had become. She, who mirrored the wickedness of my soul with her own, invoked my lust for power, fuelling the rage that always simmered under the facade of control. Within the flames she charmed my ego and bestowed upon me a name that rolled across the land, striking fear into those that dared oppose me. Amongst the red boughs she exalted my malevolence with blood from those that offered me peace through sisterhood. The vile web she wove willingly trapped me within her black artifice of destruction. For I followed where she led me, thirsting for a force beyond the land of blood and sinew.
It was a woman who showed me what I was to be. Her light bathed my soul in its glory, healing the wounds that once lay deep within the chasms of my being. Absolution, for a traitorous soul, arrived within the whisper of her unconditional love and acceptance. A love derived from innocent lucidity, yet wise beyond its years. Redemption was found within the words she wove for others as I was shown a path I never dreamt possible. A path that I followed as she marched steadily beside me, showing me the way towards a light of my own.
Years have past and I marvel at how I came to be of an age I once thought unattainable. Time has allowed the passage of my disdain to fade into nothingness. The anguish and assuagement, the heartaches and triumphs, the rejections and devotions are bittersweet memories now. Memories I stubbornly cling to. My troubled soul is finally at rest, yet, I still wonder about those encounters within my life. Were they truly chance? I strive to remember everything about those that affected me, in whichever ways they did, and wonder how all, perhaps, played an important part in who I ultimately became. Repeatedly, I wished I could turn back time and do so many things over again. Not any more. If it wasn't for the path I had started on I would have never ended up on the one that led me here. Beside the person I love more than life itself. It's just that simple.
Fini
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